Come Be My Light.

I am currently reading “Come Be My Light”, a book about Mother Teresa of Calcutta. And, at the introduction of the book, these words, by Mother Teresa struck me,

Now Father- since 49 or 50 this terrible sense of loss- this untold darkness- this loneliness- this continual longing for God- which gives me that pain deep down in my heart.- Darkness is such that I really do not see- neither with myy mind nor with my reason.- There is no God in me.- When the pain of longing is so great- I just long & long for God- and then it is that I feel- He does not want me- He is not there.- … God does not want me.- Sometimes- I just hear my own heart cry out- “My God” and nothing else comes.- The torture and pain I can’t explain.-

It struck me because I feel this too. This terrible feeling of loss. This deep pain in my heart. Most especially when I’m alone- before I go to sleep and I pray, or when I look out and see the stars gloriously scattered in the sky. It makes me feel wonderful, and grateful to our One True God, that He gives us such a sight every night. But I also feel alone. And yearning. I yearn to touch the sky, the stars, the wind. And I ask God for help- I ask Him to take me- so that I may not do anything else that might hurt Him or do Him wrong, but especially, so that I won’t hurt anymore. Because it hurts so much, being apart from Him like this.

What good is it that I know how I could be happy, how I could fulfill the purpose of my life- which is to love and serve the Everlasting Love- when I don’t have enough Love for God, when I don’t have enough WILL to DO IT? I realized that I could know all the wisdoms in the world, but if I don’t have strength and courage and LOVE for God, then those wisdoms will go to WASTE. They would be just thoughts, ideas, TRUTHS that were never achieved- never fully grasped because they weren’t executed- because the weren’t DONE. 

And maybe this is why I have this feeling of loss.. maybe it’s because I know all these things yet I still can’t stop myself from doing things that will hurt God- because He loves me. Maybe I have this ache in my heart because my relationship with God is obstructed by my sins.

I don’t want to sin anymore.

Lord, thank You for everything. Thank You for Loving me, no matter how unworthy I am. Thank You for You, for Your Love, for the graces You’ve given me, especially the people You’ve put in my life- my parents, my brothers, our relatives, our friends and him- Thank You. I’m sorry for all the wrong things I’ve done and the right things I have not. Lord, hurting You is the last thing I’d want to do- but I do it everyday, when I put myself first instead of You- so Lord, I ask for one thing- please take everything I have- my heart, my soul, my spirit, the little strength I have, and my will, and everything else that You could take from me- please keep them Lord, they’re all Yours- I’m all Yours, O Lord. Please help me, Lord. Help all of us- my family and all the families in the world, the Holy Mother Church- the Pope and those who consecrated their lives to You in single blessedness, those who are losing and who lost hope, faith and Love for You, those who are hungry, thirsty, those who have no home, no clothes, those who are sick, in their deathbed and in prison, please help us Lord- help us to Love You with all our hearts, all our understanding and all of us, and to love others as You Love us- I ask this, together with the Immaculate Conception- Our Mother, St. John the Baptist, St. John, St. Joseph, St. Michael the Archangel, Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, all the Holy Angels and Saints in Heaven- Padre Pio, St. Therese of the Child Jesus, Mother Teresa- Amen.

Help me to Love You Lord. With all of me. Blindly.

Obama Turns Back the Clock

 By Colin Mason

At a time when highly significant—even historic—breakthroughs in adult stem cell research have become almost daily occurrences and almost to the point of being mundane, President Obama has chosen to turn back the clock, and starting today, will force taxpayers to subsidize the unethical over the ethical, the unworkable over what works, and hype and hyperbole over hope.

Human embryo destroying stem cell research is not only unethical, unworkable, and unreliable, it is now demonstrably unnecessary. 

–Congressman Christopher Smith (R-NJ), March 9, 2009

This speech, at which were present so-called “snowflake babies” (former frozen embryos, implanted and carried to term), was made in response to President Obama’s March 9th executive order, which sweepingly legalized embryonic stem-cell research in an attempt to remove “limitations on scientific inquiry.”

“Rather than furthering discovery,” said Obama in his March 9th statement immediately preceding the signing of the order, “our government has forced what I believe is a false choice between sound science and moral values. In this case, I believe the two are not inconsistent. As a person of faith, I believe we are called to care for each other and work to ease human suffering.”

While most pro-lifers are vigorously opposed to embryonic stem-cell research, many have difficulty defending their stance because of supposed medical advances which the research has made possible. Many would be surprised to learn that any and all medical breakthroughs made regarding stem cells have been made without using embryos. Work with these cells has produced promising research and may lead to dramatic cures of all manner of diseases. As Michaela Kingston writes, in an article entitled “Pardon Me, Your Ideology is Showing”:

ESCs may have the potential to cure many diseases. But after ten years and billions of dollars, they still have not realised their potential. In the meantime, stem cells isolated from adults have proven to be quite effective in relieving human suffering. Even better, if you’re on the ESC bandwagon, are “induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells”, which behave almost exactly like ESCs but do not involve embryo destruction. These iPS cells do not involve costly embryo manipulation and can be made from a patient’s own cells, avoiding immune rejection.

So, in other words, Obama has not only signed off on a procedure which would be morally unacceptable no matter what its scientific advantages, he has done so in the face of all medical and scientific evidence. In addition to this, Obama also rescinded Bush’s Executive Order 13435, which poured funding into research involving adult stem cells. In short, Obama has effectively worked to kill adult stem cell research (i.e., the only stem cell research that has produced results) to pour money into a dead-end, highly controversial research instead.

The president’s supposed desire to “work to ease human suffering” rings hollow when it is clear that the procedures he espouses have proven scientifically fruitless. In addition to this, morally concerned scientists have not only identified the moral hazard, but they have even offered a workable solution.

But it is to no avail.

Obama’s ideological bone-tossing apparently extends to forced abortion, as well. The FY2009 Omnibus Bill, signed into law by the president on March 11th, contains a loophole that allows funding to go to the UNFPA, regardless of whether or not they are involved in forced abortion or sterilization. The Reagan-era Kemp-Kasten amendment, clearly dictates that American tax dollars cannot be used to fund coercive abortion or sterilization overseas. Even when House pro-lifers proposed an amendment that would essentially force the UNFPA to be regulated under Kemp-Kasten like everyone else, it was overturned.

The message that this sends is very clear: Obama wants his programs funded, regardless of the costs. He is perfectly willing to cut a swathe through both legal and moral concerns to achieve this goal. However, not only is he willing to cast aside concerns, he is even willing to disregard the basic cold logic of the matter, the logic upon which delicate, bi-partisan agreements are made.

This logic dictates that, while we may not agree on abortion, we agree that women should never be forced to have abortions; that, shelving the moral controversies, embryonic stem cell research is a sterile science and should be abandoned in favor of more productive investigations. This logic dictates that Americans are split on the subject of abortion, and it is thus irresponsible to use their tax dollars equally to fund something that so many of them find morally repugnant.

In the words of Kingston, far from promoting “responsiblility,” Obama has only paved the way for “pressure on scientists from media hype, special interest groups, lobbyists and a poorly informed but well-meaning public to pursue dead-end research.”

Simply speaking, Obama really is willing to turn back the clock—to turn it back to a time when the people had little say in government, and when government took little interest in the scientific or moral conundrums placed before it.

God save us from “change” like this.

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Love.

Our Philosophy prof asked us to choose one philosopher and react/evaluate on his ideas.

I am posting my answers to the questions:

DOES GOD EXIST?

HOW DO I LEAD A HAPPY LIFE?

WHAT IS TRUTH?

WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?

In the hope that, somehow, this will enlighten you

——————————————————————————————————————

Kant claimed that, it is not enough for the effects or consequences of our behavior to agree with the moral law; the truly moral act is done for the sake of the moral law.[1] So then, how do we define what the moral law really is? What really is the right thing to do? And why does every human being feel a great need to have knowledge of it?

I.                    The Truth about the Moral Law

As what Kant said, all of us are under some kind of obligation[2], which we call the moral law. To this I agree to. We’ve always had that nagging feeling of guilt when we do something which we think is wrong.

But, can “what we think is wrong” be the basis of what is really wrong? Can “what we think is right” be the basis of what is really right? Is the right thing to do subjective? Or is it applicable to everybody?

Every one of us did not first search for the Right thing to do.

What we first searched for, is happiness—what is going to make us happy.

Every child cried because they were either hungry, thirsty, or need to poop or pee. Every child cried so that someone would come to make an uneasy feeling—that is making them unhappy—go away. Not because they found it fit to cry at particular hours of the night.

Growing up, we learned to get food on our own, learned to go to the toilet on our own, but then, no matter how independent we can now be—food, water, going to the toilet for relief—they don’t seem to make us contented, as before, anymore. The basis for our happiness is not that simple anymore—it went notches higher. And this is because, growing up, we began to interact with the world, particularly with people around us. And we discover that we are social beings—that others play a great role on our happiness.

Why is that?

Why do we feel the need to be accepted by others? To be respected by others? To be looked-up to? Why do we feel the longing to have personal relationships with others?

Because all of us, no matter how strong or weak we are, how attractive or unattractive we are, how wealthy or poor we are, how wise or foolish we are, we all want to be loved. And, for that reason, love plays an enormous role in our happiness.

The truth about humanity is that every person needs Love.

Behind every action committed, behind every word said, behind every decision made is the struggle—the cry—of every human being to be loved.

But greater still, is man’s need to Love. Because by loving, we discover a great truth which is hidden from many—that we are being loved, all along, by an Eternal, Everlasting Love.

Because by knowing how to Love, we get to know Love as it really is—not just one side of it.

 Therefore, humanity’s moral law—that which we feel to be our obligation—is Love.

In every human being is the necessity to love and be loved.

Now you do not need anyone to write to you about brotherly love, since you have been taught by God to love each other.[3]

II.                  Love and the Right Thing to Do

And so, what is Love?

Kahlil Gibran, in his book, The Prophet, said,

“But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
  Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness 

and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
  Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh,

but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
  Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
  For love is sufficient unto love.

[…] Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. ”[4]

Love is not all peace and pleasure—with love also come suffering and struggle—the struggle to surpass our human nature which cherishes everything convenient, everything comfortable, everything self-pleasing.

We need to exceed our human nature for us to be able to love wholly; because love will never be satisfied by the easy things that our human nature rejoices in. Our human nature, also, fears a lot of things—all things inconvenient, all things uncomfortable, and all things not self-pleasing—but there is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love.[5]

Love—being humanity’s moral law—is divine, for it is not subject to sin, to transgressions or to any flaw, because Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love is divine and the Divinity—the person who does not love does not know God, because God is Love.[6]

Love, like God, is unconditional; hence, we should love not just a few chosen ones, but everybody; if you love those who love you, what thanks do you deserve? Why, even sinners love those who love them.[7]

And, most importantly, we should love Love itself, for love should be reciprocated, so that we could experience it completely. For if love plays a big role in our happiness, wouldn’t it be appropriate, then, that our love be complete, so that our happiness, also, will be complete?

And yet, the question remains, how do we love?

“Love is patient, love is kind,

  Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

  It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

  Love bears all things, believes all things,

  hopes all things, endures all things.”[8]

Love should encompass all our actions, all our behaviors, all our choices, and our will; and still, to reiterate what Kant said, it is not enough for the effects or consequences of our behavior to agree with the moral law; the truly moral act is done for the sake of the moral law.[9]

It is, therefore, not enough for the effects or consequences of our actions and behaviors to agree with Love; the truly moral act is done for the sake of Love.

The Right Thing to Do, therefore, is to Love.

Love never does anything that is harmful to its neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.[10]

III.                God’s Existence

Yet, although we know all these about love, there is still the harsh reality that it is not easy to love.

“When love beckons to you, follow him,
  Though his ways are hard and steep.
  And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
  Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
  And when he speaks to you believe in him,
  Though his voice may shatter your dreams
  as the north wind lays waste the garden.”[11] 

This is where we ask, why do we need to love again?

To be able to be happy.

Why do we need to be happy?

Because we are incomplete.

Why are we incomplete?

Because we are apart from God.

Our incompleteness necessitates us to have a Complete Being which can, in time, complete us.

That is why we would always be incomplete if we remain apart from God.

God is Love[12]; and, for that reason, we will never be complete until we are with Love—until we have love in us.

And only when we are complete will we truly be able to live “life”—for only then, would we know the secrets of our hearts and know exactly what we want and how to achieve them.

The secrets of our hearts are “secrets”, because they were hidden from us by the world. And only when we learn to see past all of the world’s materialism—only when we learn to love—will our hearts’ true desire be revealed to us.

These desires, like our incompleteness, are a gratification of God’s existence. Because when everything else material, everything else temporary, and everything else transient passes away, nothing will remain but that which is eternal, everlasting and complete. Nothing will remain but Love. And so, Love is the fulfillment of everything. 

IV.               Conclusion

We have now come to the conclusions that;

Humankind’s moral law is to Love, because only Love, complete, can suffice to make us completely happy. That, to Love, then, is the Right Thing to Do. And that Love is ultimate proof of God’s existence.

My heartache.

I was supposed to write about “Mariah Carey’s songs”, but I guess God has another thing in mind. 

I watched this Korean romantic comedy movie, “Miss Old Diary”, this morning. Thanks to, of course, YouTube. It’s about a girl- or woman, to be exact- in her early 30’s, who doesn’t have a stable job and.. a husband. 

[For all of you who do not know, in Korea, if you hit 30 and you don’t have a boyfriend to marry you or a husband, you are considered an old spinster. And it’s not really a good reputation. (*Conclusion just gathered from my “Korean television experience” so not really proved in real life]

This woman- I forgot her name- lives with her 3 grandmothers and 2 uncles. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you the whole synopsis of the movie. What bothered me, though, was that “Why is this woman so WEIRD?!” And I mean, really weird. She doesn’t give me the impression that she’s HUMAN at all- human- rational, thinking, discerning human. It’s like, she has NO CONTROL of her feelings or actions whatsoever. She’s like my cute, lovely, Golden Retriever, Whitney. 

My first impression of her was similar to Nike’s tagline;

JUST DO IT. 

And… I just felt sad for her.

“Why are you doing that?”

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING?!”

Obviously I was so into the movie. So before I lose all possible notions of sanity I have left, I told myself, “THIS IS NOT A REAL LIFE STORY.”

But thinking about it… unfortunately, it is REAL LIFE. Real life stories of people. Just doing what first came to their mind. Not being able to control their actions, their words, their behavior and attitude towards everything- especially to other people.

Being “FREE”. Being able to “DO WHAT I WANT TO DO”. But is it really freedom? If we do something that we’ve been taught is wrong or we think is wrong and yet we do it because we believe ourselves to be free and we have to prove to ourselves and to others that we’re free, then, ARE WE REALLY?

I was angry at my mom this morning because she didn’t cook for me because I have no school today. Not really angry, just.. terribly irritated. And so, that early in the morning I gave myself a heartache.

And what I realized was that- I don’t have to be terribly irritated at my mom just because of that. Yes, I can be angry. Yes, I can be terribly irritated. And yes, I have a right to be. I have a perfectly good reason. But is it really a “perfectly good” reason? Is it even a reason?! What things can make us angry can define who we are. How shallow or how deep we are.

I read last night, in Proverbs that, “A wise man’s heart keeps guard over his mouth, making his words more effective.”(Pr. 16:23) It made me think that, if I would want to be wise, then I would watch what I say and DO- “making his words more effective.” 

Just so you know, I felt a lot better after. After smiling at my mom, after talking to her sweetly, after thinking that it’s not really that big of a deal, THAT I’ve committed much much graver mistakes than that (HAH) and yet, God in all His Loving Kindness, has forgiven me.

Man, was I happy. Happy that I’ve taken the moment to pray and ask God for wisdom. Happy that I was able to let pass my mom’s itsybitsy “mistake” and, in the process, not committin a graver one.

St. James said, ” But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:17)

One heartache down. A lot more to go.

아자 아자! 바이팅!~

Why I made this blog.

I want to share my life. Not so I could be popular. Not so I could diss everything and everyone I want to diss. Not so I could voice my own thoughts. 

NO.

My thoughts are far too fickle and.. sadly, are most times… selfish. And I don’t want to mislead people or”advice” people wrong thing and give them wrong arguements.

I made this blog because I feel God wants me to. So people would somehow understand what God, with His grace, made me understand. About this life. And how it’s connected to Love.

Also, I feel that I would learn from this experience. About the Faith I’m just recently learning about, eventhough I’ve had it my whole life. And about how utterly incapable the human language is in expressing how Lovely our God Is.

I would like to say, I love you, to all of you right now. You who are angry, who are frustrated, who are in pain, who are cursing your God, who wants revenge, who are never contented, who feel you know everything you need to, who are proud, who are greedy, who are lusty, who are gluttons, who are lazy, who are envious, yet, despite all this, you who are alive.

I cannot say I am different from you. I have been each and everyone of you in my life.

I want to say I love you. With the fire of love burning in my heart, I love you. Because you are God’s creation. Because I cannot hate you, and I cannot despise you because that would be hating and despising myself.

I love you. Not because you are committing sins. But because you need love in as much as I need to love.

I love you. Because I need to love in order to live… life to the fullest.

I love you.